Rollerblading through Suburbia

Hopefully this entry finds you enjoying what's left of Memorial Weekend 2010. If you've followed my previous blog entries or know me at all you'll know that this was Graduation weekend for Cecily. Although I was very nervous about the whole affair (mainly surrounding the family drama going on between my parents) everything worked out as well as possible. My parents worked things out amicably, they stayed away from each other and they had seperate graduation parties.

I took Friday-Sunday off from Bakers and then have Mondays off so it worked out nicely. My grandmother and Aunt came from Denver on Thursday and went to West Point to visit my Uncle and Cousins while they were out since my mom and Cecily were busy on Friday. I drove out then and met up with them. It was really nice, got to catch up with my cousins who I rarely see and then spent some time at the Farm which is full of...CATS! 12 kittens and 3 adult cats, needless to say...great success!
Although this neighborhood, with its midles of identical houses painted different colors maybe the future playground for a serial killer or other horror movie villan, the new sidewalks were fun and it was a blast to get out int he nice summer night!
We went into West Point, got some authentic Mexican food for lunch and then headed home to help put the finishing touches before the rest of our company arrived that evening. Saturday, the day of the ceremony, everyone was here. I was so happy that my family from Colorado came. We've done so much stuff with them over the years it just wouldn't have felt right without them. Graduation went well, the speakers were much better than mine (well we had one good one...), and then Cecily finally got her diploma after more than an hour of name reading. Cecily made the rounds all weekend to parties before hers on Saturday. Her party was wonderful, lots of friends and family came by. My mom and all of us worked so hard and it really showed when everything came together perfectly.

After the party we just kind of hung out, spent some time with my Colorado family before they headed out and then cleaned up.

Today, we went to my Dad's parents house for a graduation/memorial day celebration and then tomorrow begins the normal schedule. I go to the Attorney Generals office and then work the rest of the week.

Upcoming events include: My Grandma is staying until thursday so I'll hang out when them tomorrow and then Hebron with Brady on Thursday. Then next week is the great Nebraska Road Trip adventure... look for countless updates!

I got rollerblades tonight. Spent about 15 minutes breaking them in around my Dad's house...great success!

Graduation

Finally, the day is here. My sister's high school graduation day. Although there was never any question of her graduating, I guess it's still kind of symbolic: the end of the old and the beginning of the new.

What plans lie in store for her, have yet to be determined. Yet I feel as though she has a great opportunity handed to her and if she makes the most of it she will indeed be successful. Her plans, as of now, are to go to the University of South Dakota in the fall. USD is a legit school, cheaper for her to go to than UNL and a much better alternative than UNK or UNO. She wants to get away from all of her trashy high school friends and I totally understand. Going to school far away is so refreshing, it gives you a chance to start out new and a chance to leave needed baggage behind.

However, if she will be successful has yet to be seen. Although she has grown a lot in the last year, I still don't have full confidence in her ability to be successful. I feel guilty for saying it and I hope that things go okay. She truly is smart, but she lacks drive, direction and most importantly maturity in order to be successful. She's self-centered, impossible to live with, and has a checkerboard past.

We'll have to see. The actual ceremony is today, 4 PM and then the open house is tomorrow...

Nothing like spending 3 hours as more than 600 kids graduate. Am I complaining? No, they had to suffer through mine. Oh Millard North...

First Night of 4-Midnight Fun

Although it used to really bother me, working the evening shifts at Bakers do have its perks. I think the first time I was scheduled to "close' the store was back when I was a senior in high school, or should I say the summer after. Granted I was just a cashier and really didn't have to do anything it was kind of eerie. I had exclusively worked the day for 3 years before my first closing shift and seeing the store empty and darkened is truly creepy the first time out.

However now I could really care less. I get about 7 hours (although I'm scheduled until Midnight we're allowed to leave anytime after the till exchange at 11:20...and I have to clock out for a half an hour lunch) and I really don't have to do much. Sure it's really busy when I first get there which is nice, it makes the first half of the shift go by really fast. Then the rest of pretty much just behind the scenes, administrative kind of work. I clean, get things ready for the next day, restock all the registers with needed supplies (such as register tape, bags, pens, Bakers cards, etc.) and then overall just hang out.

Although I do prefer working day still because of the constant interaction with people that I'd have, the evening shifts still allow me to have a life during the day and then get a full shift in for the evening.

Things have been kind of bust recently, we're getting the house all ready for Cecily's upcoming graduation, next week is Hebron trip with Brady and then the week after is the Epic Nebraska road trip. I'm really pumped for everything going on and love it.

Unfortunately I didn't have any real exciting customers last night. I did get to work with some people that I usually don't work with and needless to say it was fun. It was fun to reminesce about the trashiness which Bakers is at times. For example, yesterday I got "written up" for missing work 3 times in the past 18 months (I called in sick twice last summer and once last Friday so that's a total of 3.) and then at the same time got a raise. Weird? Oh well...

Needless to say if you're bored come in and visit me tonight at Bakers. I'll be the one wearing the unflattering black on black uniform and vest that obnoxiously has "Customer Service 1st" embroidered on it...

Almost a week...

Remember when I said I was really bad at journaling? Well here's proof of that. It's been almost a week since my last posting and this new entry. I used to actually be pretty good at journaling...way back when I was in elementary school. Granted the journal entries were pretty stupid and usually consisted of things like "Today was fun" or "Bored all day" etc. but heck at least I did it! As time went on and I got busier with things journaling just kind of fell to the wayside. I used to try and motivate myself by buying expensive or cool looking journals to try and make writing in them enticing and granted I would start out strong and then kind of forget about them. I probably have like 5 expensive, journals with less than 5 entries in each...They all look cool and perhaps I could use them as decorations or something in Sudhir and I's apartment next year.

So, what have I been up to in the past week? Well, out of everything I've decided to stay in Nebraska for the summer. Financially it just worked out in my favor to just stick it out at home. Thankfully my internship and work will keep me very busy, seriously like working 50 hours a week (and only getting paid for half of it...). I'm exhausted almost all of the time, and surprisingly I enjoy it. Probably the only thing that I truly hate is Tuesday morning when I wake up at 5:30 and feel sick and tired. Weird I know, but I think the extreme lack of sleep just makes me nauseous. I'm a morning person and it only lasts for about 5 minutes and that's probably the only part of my busy life that I don't look forward to.

Baker's has been scheduling me with increased regularity in the evening shift spot, meaning 4-Midnight. I actually prefer that, I can go work out in the morning, get things done during the day and then head off to work in the evening. Although I'm scheduled until midnight my Supervisor told me I could leave after I do the till exchange at 11:20. Just in case I usually stay until at least 11:40. My eventual goal is to be home by midnight.

Things at home are going somewhat well, with the rush of the end of the school year already here things are busy and somewhat functional. Cecily's staying out of trouble for the most part, but she is still impossible to live with. We are just very different people, and thus we don't get along at all. We don't fight, I just try and avoid her as much as possible.

My Dad is another story, I'll post something on that later.

Anyway, it's late. I'm tired. I've started my first summer book read. After like 10 years of putting it off I'm finally reading "A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". It's pretty good so far, and we'll see what happens after that. Other books I want to read are "The World is Flat", "Nickel and Dimed", perhaps a Twilight book, "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo", etc.

If you know of a good book let me know. I'm liking fiction at the moment but am a true die hard history reader. After all, I think I probably have the most extensive Ocean Liner book collection this side of the Mississippi...

Until later, have a good one.

Emo Post #2

So, hopefully by the title of this it can serve as a disclaimer. I'm tired and overworked and needless to say I'm not happy. (Although my cats are doing their best to try and mitigate that at the moment...)

Today begins my next work cycle at Bakers, I work 4-Midnight tonight, 4-10 tomorrow, and then 9-4 and finally end the week on Saturday with a 9-5:30 shift. Glorious. I love work but I hate being tired all the time because of it. Oh Bakers, if only you actually understood what availability sheets are for. You wouldn't have such a high turn over rate if you did...

Anyway, recently I've just been feeling very disconnected, syndicated, and forgotten about. Sure, I'm feeling sorry for myself and the logical side of me says that I need to just take some time to myself, get some sleep and it will be okay. It probably will but will that help me right now? I guess what I just need to come to terms with is the way that people just move on. I've always hated change and I guess that's something I need to work on. Sure, going to school for 9 months far away and coming home is hard. I guess what's making that worse at the moment is the way that those that I care about at home have forgotten about me and the relationships we once had. Sure, I don't expect them to be exactly the same when I come home, they have lives here just as I have life up there. But I guess it just is hard to see the way that people have turned out. People who once seemed above the trashiness of this state have succumbed to it. The shining stars have lots their sparkle amidst alcohol and partying...

And then there are some people who have not changed since high school... they go to school to UNL or UNO, spend all of their weekends at home and keep perpetuating the lifestyle that they had 2 or 3 years ago.

Coming home is always hard I guess when I see what's happened. The Nebraska that I've left isn't the one that I hope to return to. I guess I just feel isolated at the moment... forgotten by friends at home and far away. I try and stay connected but all of my efforts make me feel silly and foolish... like an annoying intruder, a gnat constantly buzzing around their faces.

So, I will be done for the moment. I'll focus on myself here and give myself the chance to mourn the loss of any connection that I have left in Nebraska. My nuclear family is dead and it appears as though my social circle is as well...

Don't get me wrong, I love coming home and visiting... it's just living here that's the hard part. Actually coming home and living is the hardest.

Monday Monday...

Well,
so here we are, the start of my second week of fun excitement and fun. Compared to last Monday things went much better. I didn't have the fierce out of control rain or lack of sleep before my internship, but now only after two days believe it or not things are starting to get settled in.

I helped with just kind of normal office related business today, got some projects finished that I had started lats week, photocopied, etc.
The days are long though, man these commutes are kind of rough. I get up at like 5:30, leave here by 6:30 and then don't get back home until nearly 11 hours later. Needless to say Monday and Tuesday are long days.

Baker's has given me a lot of hours which is nice but is also a mixed bag. I told them not to schedule me more than 25, I have 34 this week. Oh yeah, that's 34 hours over the course of 4 days. I basically live there which sucks. Come visit me.

It's bad, but I will have a nice paycheck next week!

Do I feel satisfied? Do I feel as though I am enjoying my work? Yes. At the moment I'm exhausted but I feel good.

What is frustrating, which I think goes hand in hand with being tired, is feeling disconnected. I've spent some time with my friends but that was a while ago. I honestly kind of just go to work and then come home. Then repeat. Sure, it's still the first part of summer and lots of people aren't home yet and I'm very busy. But it does get annoying. Additionally, I just feel so jaded with the lack of communication I've gotten from old friends from back here. I spent some time with one group of my friends and been totally shut out by others. Does it hurt? Sometimes, but not now since I'm so busy. If I wasn't preoccupied with how tired I am it would seriously bother me. But thankfully I'm busy so it really doesn't...yet.

Oh well, I'm busy. I've made the effort and if they don't want me in their life anymore that's just their loss. I guess what bothers me the most is being forgotten. Do I consider myself a needy person? Sometimes. I guess it just bothers me the way that I try and make an effort but it is not reciprocated. What's even worse is when for example someone texts me back or I facebook chat someone I feel as though I am simply that whiny, annoying next door neighbor who you just want to get out of your hair. You respond because you feel like you have to, not because you want to.

I'm tired, and like I said I believe this is nothing more than a side effect of that. I'll give myself a few moments to feel sorry for myself, fade into the darkness and write some emo poetry or something and then I'll get up, suit up and face the traffic again towards Lincoln...

Sunday

Alrighty,
So today was my first official day off this week. I wasn't scheuled at Bakers and I didn't have to run to the capitol or anything for an internship. It was kind of nice, something I could get used to.

The plans of the day were pretty already laid out. I slept in after working late, (waking up at like 730 after working until around midnight) laid around all morning watching various Sunday morning TV shows and then headed off to my Grandparents apartment by 10:45. Today we were heading out to my Uncle's farm to celebrate my cousin's 8th grade graduation and confirmation (they're Catholic so the two were lumped into one). My Uncle and his Family live about an hour from Omaha and originally our party would have consisted of myself, Cecily, my mom and Jim. However, sadly my Step-Grandmother was rushed to the emergency room yesterday evening with high blood pressure. They spent the good part of the evening there and soon they found that they were in need of a ride to West Point as well.

My mom's car was full so I was volunteered to drive them out. No big deal, they offered to let me simply just drive their car so there I was at 11, ready to take them. However, even this morning she was feeling under the weather, so I was surprised to see just my Grandfather there waiting. I pulled my car into his garage and we were on our way.

I haven't really spent much one on one time with my Granfather before and it was kind of nice. He likes to talk and listen to old music that I've never heard of (yodelling, and warbly gospel choirs) so I just sat and listened as he talked for most of the way there. The roads were fine and we were soon to the farm. Spent some time with the cousins and then soon we were once again back on the road heading home...

I remember last summer my mom threw a big party for my grandpa's 80th birthday. Seriously, like inviting people from all over to come out to her house. She stressed the importance to make the day special because he might not have another big birthday party again...

My Grandfather was never the nicest person to my mom and her family when they were younger and in many respects I can find parallels from his actions and behaviors in the way that my Dad acts now. Still though, I respect her and him and it was nice to spend the afternoon with him. I chose to savor the moment since something like this would most likely never happen again...


Tomorrow starts the internship all over again. I'm excited to see what this week will bring. Bakers overscheduled me again, try 4-Midnight two days in a row followed bvby two 9-5 shfits. Yeah, pretty brutal. I wrote a quick note to my supervisor, firstly thanking her for the hours but asking for the most 25 next time instead of 32. I'm pulling 10 hour days in Lincoln Monday and Tuesday so I'm pretty much spent come the end of the day...


Especially if I'm going to be going back up to Fargo early I want to savor this month and a half I have off back home. sure, it's hard being home but heck it's home and I want to actually relax before doing anything.

Friday!

So,

Today was nice for several reasons... Like pretty much everyone else I was in awe at how nice the weather really was outside today. After what has seemed like years of cold and rainy days, we had sun... and warm temperatures! It was so surreal. As I walked into work today I noticed countless people who I could tell had left work a little early. Their cars had their sunroofs open, the convertible tops and windows rolled all the way down, radios blaring.

After working so late last night I woke up pretty late... like 8:30. Went downstairs and started on laundry, did some general around the house work. Checked my email, facebook, the usual. Spent some time with the cats, walked Yogi and then made myself some lunch. Got my fill of trashy E! shows as well, including Keeping up the Kardashians, etc.

Did some P90X before finally showering and getting ready at like 11. It was glorious to just kind of lay around and do nothing. Two late night 8 hour shifts back to back are hard... and I get another one tomorrow.

Around 12:30ish I got a phone call... needless to say my "25%" of Japanese heritage was more than enough to get me the Multicultural Internship with the University of Minnesota Extension Service. It's paid and it's in Fargo. Two wins right there. Although I like spending time at home in the summer... it hurts a lot too. I could go into great detail about this here but I want to get some sleep tonight so I won't bore you with that. Suffice it to say that if everything works out I'll most likely end up in Fargo starting in Mid-June.

Headed off to work for my 2:3shift, I walked again as always. It's beautiful out, why waste gas when I can get some much needed exercise and Vitamin D.

The shift was nice, it was easy that's for sure. 2:30-7. Man this would be a walk in the park compared to the 8 and a half hour shifts I'd pulled recently. I worked several registers, hopping around each time someone went home... filling spots until the entire evening shift workers arrived at 4. We weren't too busy, and unfortunately didn't have any especially memorable customers. I did have several issues though with the registers. They're getting old and get confused and forget things a lot, like how to keep my screen lit so I know how many cucumbers I just charged you for, and credit card numbers...requiring customers to re-swipe their cards several times.

Baker's is both good and bad at times. They treat you like crap but I've worked there for so long now I pretty much know the store's policies like the back of my hand. It's nice to not have to constantly be asking people questions about things.

Lots of people were getting things for graduation parties, etc. I sold lots of beautiful fruit and vegetable trays, fancy cakes, and tons of hamburger buns and paper plates. It's that time of the year. I'm surprised that my mom hasn't already started stocking up. We're expecting a TON of people for Cecily's party. Good. She needs all of the support she can get right now...

Tomorrow's itinerary: Take my mom to run some errands (her car is in the shop), go to garage sales to get needed items for next year (regardless of when I head back to Fargo, I need kitchen items for my apartment, etc.), hopefully hit up the gym shortly after and then work from 4:30-Midnight. Joy of Joys I get to close again.

I have Sunday off. My mom, Jim, and I are going to West Point for my cousin's 8th grade graduation and confirmation party. They're Catholic so I hardly know half of what's going on. They live on a farm though, with lots of... (you guessed it) CATS! As a matter of fact we got our two little cats from my Uncle Brad's farm nearly 14 years ago. It'll be nice to have a day off and see some family. I think I'll tell Baker's I can't work on Sundays. I'm working almost 60 hours a week between my unpaid internship and working at Bakers. I'm tired...

Post 4-Midnight Bakers Shift

Alrighty,

So I just worked my first actual lane at Baker's for the summer. Before working tonight I caught up with two great high school friends. It was a blast... so much fun walking down memory lane!

Working 4-Midnight really isn't too bad, like most retail shifts it has its ups and downs. Firstly, you don't stand around at all when you first get there, unlike early shifts. I hate standing still and the nice thing is since you start at 4 it's pretty busy and it stays mostly busy until 9ish. However, right around there it drops off and you have nothing to do for 3 more hours. So, I clean, put things away that people decided that they didn't really want, clean again, read the tabloids, and then finally do a till exchange at 11:20 before reverting back to reading about "who's too fat", and "who's pissed off at who's about sleeping with who".

Pretty epic. Unfortunately, I didn't have any particularly interesting customers tonight. I did have one particularly irritating man who wrote a check out for the wrong amount and blamed me. No sir, the total was this and you wrote the check out for some random amount. Did I question you? No. Should I have? Probably, since most people don't write checks for $5.67 over the amount. Usually people do normal amounts like 10 or 20 dollars over. Not this dude. In my defense we were really busy and I thought maybe he just wanted some change to have for something later in the evening. My bad, but you should have taken the high road since at least I didn't mess up amount and over-bill you or something.

After working late shifts for about 2 years, I've found that people who come to the grocery store after 11 are either in and out and don't want to talk to you or are desperate for attention and will talk your ear off. I met a couple who are originally from fargo, both went to MSUM, and told me how cool it was that they met a Cobber so far south. I met a man who was visiting on business from Denver and we talked about how cool Denver is. Etc.

The shift kind of dragged at times but it wasn't too bad. I got my schedule for next week. Nearly 30 hours. Good but could be bad. I work 20 hours for free on Monday and Tuesday at the capitol and I'm exhausted. Perhaps I will cut back on hours at Bakers to keep myself from dying.

Midnight came eventually and I went upstairs, grabbed my crap and headed out. I walk to and from work to part one reduce my carbon foot print, part two additionally increase the amount of exercise I get in the day, and finally I walk to save money on gas. My mom's house is about 3 blocks from Bakers so it's not bad at all. However, walking home at Midnight is kind of creepy. I always walk with a purpose but I usually make sure to do so when I head home late. I also text someone randomly before I leave so that in the event I'm stabbed or something and when I don't respond to my phone at least someone knows that something's going down.

Walking past Bakers and through the strip mall to which it's attached was particularly depressing tonight. There are so few stores in the strip mall now, it's kind of sad. Hollywood Video is gone, a recent victim of "The Red Box", "Netflix" and poor management. Hallmark is also gone and so is the Tanning Salon, Blimpie's (a ghetto version of Subway for those of you not from Omaha), and the Travel Agency. The stalls they once occupied are still empty, nothing has filled them. As Omaha continues to move West it leaves behind in its wake these vast empty strip malls. Baker's is having financial difficulty and although I know it will never close I can imagine they are considering moving out to the "mystical West" where somehow there will be better business.

Sure, move West where all of the homes are exactly the same, neighborhoods sit partially completed with endless empty streets lined with streetlights, and lower retail taxes... Move there and once you've dried it up move West again....

Came home form Work and am now catching up on some Bravo. Send a thank you/ follow up email to the 4-H internship people. Keep your fingers crossed for me on this one. They haven't called back and said no yet so that's at least promising...

First Day Back at Bakers...

Wednesday, first day back at Bakers... the job that I've had for nearly 5 years. Sure, it's nice to have a job and everything but... working there for so long is emotionally deadening.

This morning I got up early, kind of just lounged around. It's been cold and rainy here all week so it was hard to get me motivated to get up and really do anything. Showered, got ready and then took Yogi for a quick walk... in between down pours. After that I headed over to get my haircut and then rushed home for the big event of the day... my phone interview with the University of Minnesota Extension service for a 4-H Internship for the summer in Fargo starting in June.

It was interesting... it turns out that "multicultural intern" doesn't mean like the Multicultural Department's Intern. Rather they were looking for someone of a truly "multicultural heritage." Interesting. Should they have said that on their job posting? Probably, or at least they should have clarified that from the get go. However, apparently my 25% japanese heritage was "multicultural enough" for me to continue the interview which after that first question lasted for almost half an hour. I think if they weren't interested they would have just said no and hung up. I'm banking on the fact that since they didn't advertise well that I'm one of their few legit candidates. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

After that, I hurried off to Bakers for my 2-10 shift. I worked U-Scan, AKA I stood at the "attendant station" pressing "OK" hundreds of thousands of times when people were too stupid to realize the reason the machine was freaking out was because their child was dancing on the bagging area... which has sensors in it to detect weighted items... oh fail.

It started out really, really boring. But as with everything soon time started flying by. It was kind of nice working there again but I am so over it. Sadly I have no funny customer stories to share... since I have no interaction with them other than "Would you mind picking up those apples and re-weighing them" or "I don't think it got your Baker's card..."

After work I just kind of hung out and caught up on my ridiculous TLC shows. Oh TLC, at one point you were "The Learning Channel" now it's more like "The Loser/Lame Channel". Part of me cried a little when I saw the official Discovery Channel promo for Sarah Palin's reality show. I also cried even more when I saw that "Kate Plus 8" is returning this summer...

Look for a better post tomorrow... I'm actually cashiering on a lane tomorrow from 4-Midnight so hopefully I have some ridiculous story to share.

It's raining again, possibly hailing somewhere nearby. Oh Nebraska... how I've missed your tornado filled summers.

Happy Hump Day!

Tuesday Update

Alright so Internship Day 2 went just as well as Day 1. Although I was exhausted from yesterday's 14 hour day I watched some Star Trek on SYFY with my Dad. His friend Marie came over and I watched some less than funny sitcoms on CBS before deciding to turn in very early... like 9. I was really tired, and was disappointed to find myself more exhausted when I woke up then when I had gone to bed... at 5:30.

There wasn't any torrential rain or heavy traffic to worry about this morning, so my commute was much smoother. I parked in the same area as I had yesterday and soon found myself back at my desk. Sadly, the Communication/PR member who I was paired with's mother in law died. So, I didn't really work on any true media materials today. Rather, I helped out with general office projects. As today was the mid-term elections, the office was abuzz with general election related activities. I labeled enveloped to be sent to all of the nearly 500 elected officials in Nebraska who were up for re-election/election (Interesting Fact: Nebraska has the highest number of elected officials in the country). I updated some media documents and finally helped get election funds information compiled.

Although the tasks may seem mundane it was actually really interesting. The day just flew by! Additionally, there were several tour groups of elementary school kids in the capitol today, and it was really fun to see their reactions to things. I remember when I first visited the capitol when in 4th grade. It was truly awe inspiring!

Nothing big on the agenda for this evening. Jesus must really be happy with me, SYFY has yet another Star Trek: TNG marathon on tonight. I should go buy a lottery ticket. Can this get any better?

Tomorrow's agenda is a little busy, haircut, phone interview for a fargo paid internship, and then work at Bakers from 2-10. Nothing like starting out my last season for Bakers with 8 hours at U-Scan... Perhaps my luck has truly run out.

Sunday! Mother's Day Sunday!

Apparently this didn't ever get posted. I could swore I blogged about mothers day, perhaps I did and it was lost to the internet.
Anyway, so here's a quick rundown.

Woke up early on Sunday, and took my mom to probably her favorite restaurant, Wheatfields. We had nice breakfast and conversation and got there not too early but also not too late. By the time we left it was essentially a madhouse.
No, Cecily did not join us. As I had mentioned, Saturday was prom so needless to say she was not...up for going to Breakfast at 8. Ironically, one of the people who went with her group apparently was, we saw them as we left...

The rest of the day was spent just lounging around again. I packed my things for my two night stay at my Dad's, watched some TCM/AMC with my mom... I think we watched part of the original 1978 Superman and some Betty Davis movie. It was nice just relaxing there. The cats were also in good form, providing nice company on what could have been a less then desirable mother's day.

Around 2 my mom called Cecily to try and figure out what her plans were, let's just say Cecily responded in a less then Mother's-Day manner. I was happily distracted by the brewing storm at 4 as I left to go meet Brady at Brewburger's for dinner on his way back North.

Our experience was... interesting. Brewburger's is always fun and we didn't have to wait which was nice. The server appeared to either be under the influence of something or just plain odd. It was nice to get out and spend time with someone who isn't my family!

Spend Sunday Night at my Dad's, we watched Star Trek: First Contact, and went to bed early in anticipation for my early Monday morning.


Wow that was quick. There was much more hilarity in the original post, but this will have to suffice. Happy Tuesday!

First Day of Internship Extravaganza

So,
In case you didn't know today I started my internship with the Nebraska Attorney General's office. Let's just say... GREAT SUCCESS!

At first, I will admit I really wasn't looking forward to this. I got up at 5:30, which believe it or not is early even for me. I showered and was fighting traffic in torential rain and heavy traffic in road construction by 6:30. I rolled into the fair city of Lincoln by 7:40 and had secured safe, and legal parking by 7:45. Unsure that my parking space was legit (The AGO had warned me of "hidden" no parking or 2 hour parking signs), I waited until 7:50 for another car to park by me before I actually headed into the capitol.

It was much emptier and quieter than I had ever remembered, making it's gothic Art Deco architecture somewhat meanacing. I stowed my umbrella, and was soon on my way up to the office...

I had suited up as always, and was prepared for a less than favorable welcome. Afterall it was Monday, it was very early, and it's Mid-Term election time. What I got was sometihng totally different! The office staff was SO friendly, warm and welcoming. Although I didn't meet the Attorney General himself, I met almost all of his support staff including his Chief of Staff and several of his Office Managers. Pretty cool...

After a brief tour of their small office, one of the Office Workers sat me down at what I would soon discover was my desk. No not a desk that I would share with other interns throughout the week, rather it was actually my desk. I had a computer, a direct line (with voicemail!), my own email account and most important a space to actually call my own. It felt so cool!

Throughout the morning I was exposed to lots of general office proceedures, what would and would not be accepted of me, etc. After about an hour of getting settled I was pretty much turned loose and thrown into the thick of it.

As the Attorney General's Media Intern, I worked almost exclusively with his Chief Communication and PR officer. For my first assignment I expected to make photocopies, wash cars, or fill coffee mugs. Boy was I wrong.

The Communication/PR Officer sat me down and gave me an assignment. In case you're unaware, this is National Law Enforcement Officer Appreciation Week. The Nebraska Attorney General loves the police. So guess what I had to do? No, not sign cards for him... I actually wrote a column for him. Wait, I should rephrase that. I wrote AS the attorney general in the column.

"Just you know the basics, 250-300 words. Talk about their sacrifice, long hours, crappy pay... ther are writing samples in the databank if you want to look over." That was it. My instrucitons.

Needless to say I am so glad that I had those writing intensive classes at Concordia. I was pretty much shaking in my boots as I wrote my first couple of drafts and I'll admit they were pretty awful. I was overthinking everything and left out key details... like the fact that this was police officer appreciaton week. But 5 drafts later and I was done! Wow, so cool. So this week if you get a Nebraska paper, look through it and see if his column gets run. Although my final draft might just be a starting point... there's a good chance my actual column will be run!

After that it was time for lunch, I checked the car for parking tickets (found none), and then resumed my work that afternoon. I was tasked with updating a running document on all of the AG's press releases and made some photocopies.

By 4:30 I was out the door... I am so excited to go back tomorrow!

I hope your summer plans are going well. It looks as though at least one half of my summer plans are... let's hope the rest do.

Pre-Mothers Day Saturday Spectacular

Unlike others, Omaha I think was spared the brunt of this brutal cold spell that most of the midwest has been suffering from. It was quite entertaining actually to go through the Facebook news feed and see people freaking out about the possibility for snow in May. Although it did get pretty cold here, we didn't have the snow. That is something I am willing to live with.

My Saturday was quite, once again, uneventful. Spent some time cleaning out my room and did some P90x but other than that nothing but yet another lazy day. Free time is still abundant but I am better at finding ways of remedying it. The cats were very vocal today which was kind of surprising I guess. Joe, my cat, especially wanted to be held a lot. She was walking around the upstairs practically yowling at us to "follow her around" and then pet her. She is so dramatic loves being the center of attention... I wonder where she gets it from.

Closed out the Saturday by making last minute plans to see Iron Man 2 with my Dad. Tonight was Prom night for my Alma Matter, or former high school I guess so I decided to avoid any restaurants. It's really late, usually it's like the last week in April. Sure it's been shifted only a week or so later, but it feel so late. Believe it or not there are some Nebraska high schools that actually have allowed their seniors to be done already. My cousin graduated I think Mother's day weekend or the Thursday after. Crazy, I didn't graduate until May 31st...

Anyway, I have mixed emotions about the whole Prom experience. I went my sophomore year and had a somewhat fun time, refused to go my junior year (due to circumstances that could fill an entire blog entry on their own) and then was drafted to go my senior year as I was up for Prom royalty. The month of April was really awful for me senior year and it culminated with my Dad moving out signaling the end of my parents 25 years of marriage.

I love getting dressed up and went with a big group of my closest friends. My date was a blast and no lie I was actually pretty pumped to go to prom. I mean seriously, who doesn't like getting dressed up? So, the actual dance aspect of Prom went well and toward the end of the evening it came time for them to announce who won what for royalty. Naturally, I expected nothing. I mean seriously. It's a popularity contest. I'm loud and outgoing, but I by no means expected anything. I was in Speech, Orchestra, and Choir. Three strikes against me at my high school. To announce the candidates for the "court" they called us up in groups and I just smiled.

Now sadly, like many other large suburban high schools, prom isn't what it used to be. It's not the nice, clean and fun version that smaller town schools enjoy. No. Mine was dominated by a majority of wealthy drunk kids grinding and vomiting all over each other. They had rolled up in their slick black Escalade limos and party buses and clearly had already partaken in lots of fun before the night had even begun. Where am I going with this you may ask? Simply setting the atmosphere.

So, as names were called for 3rd, and 2nd place (Prince and Princess, Duke and Duchess... something like that...) I was content with just standing up there in the back. And then the unthinkable happened. No, I didn't trip and fall. No, my tie wasn't untied or anything like that. Instead, they called my name. No, not as just "our other members of the Royal Court" (AKA... losers). No, I was Prom King. Haley, a fellow musician and academic, was Queen. The impossible had happened... and for about 3 seconds it felt so magical.

It was like the Disney movie ending to my awful April. Lots of my friends cheered and waved... it seemed so unreal.

And it kind of was. Within seconds, those who had obviously also agreed with me in thinking I had no chance in hell to win started booing. Their voices only got louder... and their shouts and frustrations boiled over. Someone shoved somebody else and soon a massive wall of people were charging the stage. I barely got my crown, they pretty much threw Haley her's. I think the yearbook photo shows Haley "dropping it". No she didn't drop it, she was trying to catch it.

My mom, who was trying to take pictures, was shoved over to the side and practically knocked over. My Dad couldn't even see me.

Once the smoke and vomit had cleared, some photos were taken. It still felt somewhat magical, but the allure had worn off. I still don't know what was worse, being booed or agreeing with those that were booing...

Anyway, went and saw Iron Man 2. I thought it was decent but wasn't as good as the first. My Dad ended up leaving like 15 minutes early (ask me to explain this... I'll try). I sat it out by myself. I've seen movies by myself before, believe you me the "walk of shame" out of the theatre obviously alone is not fun.

Tomorrow is Sunday. One more day until his majesty!

Happy Mothers Day!

Friday Night Rantings

So, I've finally decided to succumb to it and just do it... no not partake in any illegal activity like downloading movies onto my laptop or recreational drugs. No, start a blog.

Blogs, like many other things,I used to swear I'd never start doing, like texting and talking on my cell phone while driving, have finally allured me to their benefits. Perhaps it's my sudden abunance of free time and wave of feeling sorry for myself, but I think like many things are a good emotional catharsis.

Additionally, I agree with one of my friends who is blogging to regularly write over the summer. As a result of going to a private, liberal arts institution, writing is a vital staple to almost every class I've taken. Last summer I don't think I ever actuall "wrote" once. When I mean write I don't mean sending text messages or emails to friends, rather when I mean "write" I mean actually sitting down and attempting to flesh out my ideas on a particular issue. It's something that I think is a good skill to keep up and I don't want to get rusty over the summer. So, the second reason I've decided to do this.

The personal validation is also nice, to know that other people than myself will read this. If anything that is the thing that I probably dislike the most about our "over-connected" me-centered society. I'm the star and I want you to listen to me. Although I hate it, I have to admit it's something to look forward to from this I guess...


So, what have I been up to recently you may ask? Well to be honest not much. I drove home from school on Tuesday and have been afflicted with an over-abundance of free time, so much so I'm probably going crazy. It's so hard to go from being surrounded by close friends and being so busy you can't sit down to suddenly having an empty house and a blank schedule staring you straight in the face. (If I'm having trouble with this, I'd hate to try and stop smoking...)

It's my own fault I suppose. I gave myself about a week off between coming home from school and then starting my summer internship and work for the summer. It's something that I thought I would enjoy... boy was I wrong!

So Tuesday, I sort of unloaded my car and got all of my personal effects at my mom's house. Really didn't unpack just spent some time with her and then began moving boxes around. Did a quick Target run and that was about it. Wednesday, I spent much of the morning facebook chatting and writing letters to those I had just recently left for the summer and tried to line up plans for Thursday. Thursday I worked out in the morning and then had a job interview at American Eagle, and while at Village Pointe (for those of you non-Omahian is the large outdoor mall close to my mom's house) followed up on jobs that I had applied for earlier while home for Easter Break.

I've done my best to keep busy but I've been bored and lonely since coming home. I've spent some time with friends today but sadly my contact with the outside world has been very limited, and I'm feeling the effects. I wouldn't say I'm experiencing downright depression, but it's almost like a withdrawl. I thought I had prepared myself pretty well for a second summer at home, but perhaps I was only lying to myself.

It's always hard, coming home. It's weird, I love spending time with my family and friends here but it's like I can only take it in small doses, afraid to get too settled and see the changes that have happened since I left for school two years ago. I like skating along the surface, remembering Nebraska for what it once was and rather what it's become. Change is something that is always hard for me, and coming home from my life at school is proving to be very interesting.

It's like the Carpenter's song "Rainy Days and Mondays", nothing's really wrong. I have a great summer job lined up with the Attorney General's office and have Bakers on the side to provide income, but it just doesn't feel right. The Nebraska that I'm picturing simply isn't coming into focus the right way. The characters are on stage but their lines are all wrong and I'm desperately flipping through the script trying to catch up. I'm willing to let myself grow up and change over time, but I'm not willing to let Nebraska do the same...

So, admist this kind of gloom, I've been having a less than enjoyable Friday. I was supposed to spend the day with my eccentric Aunt in Lincoln, but that sadly fell through due to circumstances beyond our control. Leaving me with no backup plan and saddened at the loss of a day out of Omaha, I decided I should check in with Bakers to see what my hours were going to look like for the upcoming week. Sure, enough I was scheduled. But not as a Front End Supervisor. rather a Cashier and Bagger.

You're probably thinking to yourself... "Oh poor James, things aren't going your way why don't you just sit down and cry like the child you are." Believe me I agree, that's what I told myself. I guess it just kind of hurt seeing that. I mean I've worked for Bakers for 5 years and to suddenly see myself demoted and having less than desireable shifts really did hurt. There are plenty of nice, logical reasons for this aciton but my gloomy fellings made it impossible for me to accept them. It's not as though I consider those jobs beaneath me, it's just I felt as though I've done my time and shouldn't have to put up with this. I didn't come home to Nebraska to simply be a cashier again for the 5th summer in a row...

With nothing better to do I decided to throw a pity party for myself and let myself mourn the loss of "the summer" that I had envisioned for myself. Should I have stayed up at school this summer? Right now I would say yes. I feel so alone and depressed it hurts to think of what could have been had I stayed. Of course though, the grass always is greener and the world is always full of "if onlys". This afternoon I applied to jobs all over Omaha, as well as apply to several up in Fargo/Moorhead.

You're probably thinking, James you're over reacting. And you're probably right. I guess just thinking of the possibility of returning back to the tundra in June was something that I needed to lift my spirits.

What have I learned from this experience? Part one, I have too much time on my hands. Part two, I need to stop being overly dramatic. Things will get better and I can't just keep being a "sunshine patriot" and freaking out over every bump in the road. What would life be without adversity? Additionally, it's quite pathetic that I can't deal with free time. I need to work on this and find ways to keep myself better occupied.

At the same time though, I realize that there is something to be said about going with one's "gut-reaction". I'm miserable, and have had this saddness in the back of my head for almost a month now. Coming home to a broken family isn't easy, and finding that old friends have moved on and forgotten about you truly is hard. It feels as though someone has died, and coming home is just a reminder of the loss of the person who has died. Am I the only one who has gone through this? Of course no. Do I feel all alone? You bet.

The events of this past year have taught me to grow a lot in my faith, and there is something to be said about God having a plan for everyone. Does God want me in Nebraska this summer, spending time with my family? Perhaps. Do my constant pangs of regret and saddness for leaving Fargo/Moorhead show that maybe God wants me up North for the summer? Perhaps as well.

A wise man once said... "there are always possibilities". Probably the most difficult thing for me is realizing that I'm not fully in the driver's seat with this one. I can apply for jobs but it doesn't mean I'll get them. I can beg my supervisor at Bakers for more hours but she still might cut them in June.


Will things get better on Monday once I'm busy? I hope so.
We'll wait and see. I'll keep you posted.

Going to see some friends tonight shortly... perhaps they will provide the mental distraciton I desperately need.