Reminders of why I hate my home life...

What was originally intended to be an epic recounting of my recent road trip adventure with Shane and Brittany will be sidetracked for the moment. Today was especially trying, so I will recount that here so I can get my thoughts out and finally get some sleep…

So, as it's Sunday I always have the day off. I decided to get caught up on lots of odd jobs, mainly laundry and also decided to work out. I went to Sports Authority to cash in my free $25 coupon (which I got when I bought my rollerblades a few weeks ago) and got a helmet. I then proceeded to my Dad's house. As it's my only day off until next Sunday, I asked my Dad if we could head over to the Verizon store and get everything figured out since I upgrade my phone next Friday.

We head over to the Verizon store, wait forever because everyone in Suburbia lives to go to the cell phone store and look at expensive shiny toys, get a phone picked out, and then head to another store because the first one sucked. After the second store, we proceeded to grab some dinner at Famous Dave's... this is where the drama begins.

As most of you know, my Dad has let me drive one of his two vehicles to Lincoln and back because he was concerned about me "racking up too many miles" on my car. This has never been an issue but I've just gone along with it.

However, my Dad brought it up tonight at dinner. He told me he felt as though I was simply using him and the only reason I stay with him is to use his car. This is totally not true. Additionally, he brought up the fact that he has to pay for a lot of stuff for me and he felt it wasn't fair.

Now, let me put this into context. My Dad loves to "buy my love", a game that I stopped playing a long time ago. Although I don't agree with my Dad on a lot of things nor respect him at times I do generally love him. He doesn't need to buy things for me. I'm not a materialistic person, and never have been.

Let me show you an example of this. For example, tonight at the Verizon store my Dad insisted that I get a Smartphone. Also, not just any Smartphone, the most expensive one. I had other plans, I simply wanted to upgrade to a free phone. I don't want a Smartphone and honestly wouldn't use all of its features. I don't like the way that our phones make us "over connected" already... that's another blog.

So, we ultimately settle on a "multi-media" phone, and long story short my refusal to go along with him saved him almost $720 over two years in the additional data charge.

Clearly, I don't use my Dad.


I guess what bothers me the most about this is the way that he was so accusing and so manipulative. His comments hurt really badly, so much so I was nearly in tears at the restaurant. I don't cry, ever. Seriously.

Like I've mentioned before, I don't agree with my Dad or really appreciate the things that he does, but deep down I care about him. Ever since last Thanksgiving when my parents' divorce really went sour I decided to walk the most neutral route that I could. I've always made sure that the actions I do are fair and equal between my parents. It's been hard and I've sacrificed a lot. That's something that I've prided myself on. To hear my Dad accuse me of using him and preferring my Mom over him hurt really bad...


This on top of the fact that I'm missing my friends up in Fargo just pushed me over the edge. You'd be proud. Did I shout at my father? No. Even though I wanted to. I told him how much it hurt me and I told him several things that are very true:
1. I told him how much I strive for neutrality
2. I reminded him that even though I would lose money I chose to stick it out in Nebraska this summer...meaning that I chose to stay to spend time with both him and my Mom.
3. Reminded him that there were many possibilities that would have kept me from coming home, we should make the best of things while they last...

Long story short, I'm driving my car to Lincoln now. No big deal, seriously. I never drive my car during the school year so if anything these miles are ones that I could be using up there.

Additionally: This will be my last summer at home. I am very much looking forward to when I can leave here...